what does the bible say about lusting after your wife

Natashya

2 min read

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26-12-2024

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What Does the Bible Say About Lusting After Your Wife?

The question of lusting after one's own wife might seem paradoxical. After all, the Bible celebrates marriage and the intimacy within it. However, the biblical perspective on lust isn't solely about the object of desire, but the nature of that desire. Understanding this distinction is key to interpreting relevant scripture.

Understanding Biblical Lust

Before delving into specific verses, let's define lust within a biblical context. Lust, according to the Bible, isn't simply sexual attraction or desire. It's an intense, uncontrolled craving that objectifies the other person, reducing them to a means of satisfying one's own desires. It's a selfish, ungodly longing that disregards the other person's feelings, needs, and worth. This is the lust condemned in the Bible, regardless of whether the object of that lust is one's spouse or someone else.

Key Biblical Passages

While there isn't a direct passage explicitly addressing lusting after one's wife, several verses provide crucial insights:

Matthew 5:28: "But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart." This verse is often cited in discussions about lust. While referencing looking at another woman, the principle applies broadly. The focus isn't solely on the who, but on the how. If the desire is objectifying, selfish, and devoid of genuine love and respect for your spouse, it falls under the biblical condemnation of lust.

1 Corinthians 7:5: "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." This verse highlights the importance of balanced sexual intimacy within marriage. Denying one's spouse legitimate physical affection can create an environment ripe for unhealthy desires, including lustful ones. Conversely, a healthy, mutually respectful sexual relationship can help prevent such unhealthy cravings.

Hebrews 13:4: "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." This passage emphasizes the sacredness of marriage and the importance of maintaining its purity. Lustful thoughts and actions can defile the marriage bed and ultimately dishonor God.

Healthy Desire vs. Lust

The key lies in differentiating between healthy sexual desire within marriage and lust. Healthy desire is rooted in love, respect, and genuine connection with one's spouse. It acknowledges the other person's individuality and worth. It seeks mutual pleasure and intimacy. Lust, on the other hand, is self-centered, exploitative, and disregards the other's feelings.

Practical Application

How can we avoid lusting after our wives (or anyone)?

• Cultivate genuine love and respect: Focus on knowing your spouse deeply, appreciating their strengths, and empathizing with their struggles.
• Practice self-control: This is a spiritual discipline that requires conscious effort and reliance on God's grace.
• Maintain open communication: Talk openly and honestly with your spouse about your needs and desires.
• Prioritize prayer: Seek God's help in overcoming unhealthy desires and cultivating a godly perspective on sexuality.
• Seek counsel: If struggling with persistent lustful thoughts, seek professional or pastoral guidance.

In conclusion, while the Bible doesn't directly address lusting after one's wife, the principles surrounding lust remain the same. It's the nature of the desire, not the object, that determines its morality. By cultivating genuine love, respect, and practicing self-control, we can honor God and maintain a healthy, fulfilling marriage.