what do i wear to a viewing

2 min read 22-12-2024

Attending a viewing (also known as a wake or visitation) can be emotionally challenging. Choosing the right outfit can help you feel comfortable and respectful during this difficult time. This guide provides advice on appropriate attire for a viewing, considering various factors like the deceased's religion and your relationship to the family.

Understanding the Importance of Appropriate Attire

The clothing you choose for a viewing sends a message. It demonstrates respect for the deceased and their family. While you want to express your sympathy, you don't want your clothing to draw unnecessary attention. Your focus should be on offering comfort and support.

What to Wear: General Guidelines

Generally, conservative attire is the most suitable choice. Think modest and respectful. Avoid anything too revealing, flashy, or attention-grabbing. Here are some suggestions:

For Women:

Dress or skirt and top: A knee-length or longer dress or a skirt and blouse combination in dark or neutral colors (black, navy, gray, dark green) is appropriate.
Pantsuit: A well-fitting pantsuit in a similar color palette is also acceptable.
Accessories: Keep jewelry simple and understated. Avoid large, flashy pieces.
Shoes: Comfortable, closed-toe shoes are best.

For Men:

Suit: A dark-colored suit is always a safe choice.
Dress pants and shirt: If you don't own a suit, dress pants and a collared shirt (long or short-sleeved) are appropriate. A tie is optional but adds a touch of formality.
Shoes: Dress shoes or loafers are recommended.

General Tips for Both Men and Women:

Dark or muted colors: Dark colors are generally preferred as they convey solemnity.
Comfortable clothing: You'll likely be standing and possibly sitting for a while, so comfort is key.
Clean and well-maintained: Ensure your clothes are clean, ironed, and in good condition.
Avoid: Bright colors, revealing clothing, jeans, t-shirts, sneakers, shorts, hats (unless for religious reasons), and overly casual attire.

Considering Specific Circumstances

While the above guidelines offer a general framework, some situations may require adjustments:

Religious Considerations:

Catholic: Often, darker, more conservative clothing is preferred.
Jewish: Similar to Catholic traditions, modest and respectful attire is important. Black is often worn, but other dark or muted colors are acceptable.
Other faiths: Research the customs and traditions associated with the deceased's faith to ensure your attire is appropriate.

Relationship to the Deceased and Family:

Close family member: You might choose slightly more formal attire than a casual acquaintance.
Close friend: While maintaining respect, a slightly less formal option might be acceptable. Always err on the side of caution.

The Season:

Adjust your outfit to the weather. A dark-colored sweater or jacket is acceptable in colder weather.

What NOT to Wear to a Viewing

Avoid clothing that is:

Too casual: Jeans, t-shirts, and sneakers are generally inappropriate.
Too revealing: Avoid anything that shows too much skin.
Too flashy or attention-grabbing: Bright colors, loud patterns, or excessive jewelry should be avoided.
Anything that might be offensive: Consider the sensitivities of the bereaved family.

Focusing on Support and Comfort

Remember, the most important aspect of attending a viewing is offering your support and condolences to the grieving family. While choosing appropriate attire is important, it shouldn't overshadow the emotional aspect of the event. Your presence and genuine sympathy are more significant than your outfit. Choose something that makes you feel comfortable and allows you to focus on offering support during this difficult time.